THE LEAFLET

May 08 2025

leader as flawed being, books as gifts and good recruiting, dead running watch as mission test metaphor

LEADER AS FLAWED BEING

As a coach, I’m introduced to far too many leaders who are unwilling to face and fix workplace problems because they view outstanding issues as a reflection of their own personal failure. A critical part of becoming a better leader is learning that disgust toward yourself or others in the face of failure is a non-starter. Getting people past that disgust is always part of my job as a coach, and your job as a leader.

Failure is inevitable, and more importantly, failure is both good and necessary. A great leader understands that failure is a key step when solving problems. Some people I work with are able to extend this grace to struggling employees easily, but find it difficult to apply to themselves. Central to this shift is for leaders to embrace themselves as imperfect, no different than anyone else at home or at work. There’s not a single company in the world that’s doing everything right all the time, just like how there isn’t one family, community or nation doing so. Striving for perfection is not only ludicrous, it’s a hindrance to genuine growth.

By using the Growth Cycle, we begin to internalize: “It’s not about me. I can reframe my own expectations of others or of success and not take it personally.” Once that happens, it allows the entire organization to shift its focus to applauding successes rather than condemning failures. The atmosphere becomes more equal, more forgiving, and more inspiring. “Failure” is just another part of the process.

-ben

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BOOKS AS GIFTS — AND GOOD RECRUITING

Micro-move alert! It’s surprising to me how many very online folks don’t know that you can give a Kindle book to someone as a gift. You choose the book; they get an email with a link and they download the book. Voila voila.

If you’re looking for a meaningful and low-cost gift for someone on your team (employee, boss, or colleague), this can be a great one. I find it’s especially useful and well-received if you send a book you have read and gotten something out of and you tell the recipient how that motivated your choice.

I could see this being a pretty great move during recruiting, hiring and/or orientation, too. After an intro conversation at a conference with a leader who worked in a space I was interested in, that leader sent me a curated box of books that amounted to a crash course. I felt so seen and respected. And then I read all of those books and I realized that I hadn’t just gotten a gift - I had passed a test. When I wrote the thank you note and reported reading the books, that leader knew my interest was serious, not passing, and I had acquired exposure and knowledge he could point to when he introduced me to others.

-eric

Read the rest here.

DEAD RUNNING WATCH AS MISSION TEST

Two writers I admire (Haruki Murakami and Hanif Abdurraqib) have a running practice that complements their writing practice. They seem to mostly ignore performance metrics and many of the trappings of 2020’s running culture. The point, for them, is the meditative regularity of it. Being in their body, being in the outdoors, being kind to both. They do it and then they do it again. “How far?” or “how fast?” matter much less to them than “did you, today?”

I aspire to that gritty peacefulness. And. I have three different running apps on my phone and a Garmin watch. I train and race. I read subreddits full of technical advice. I pay attention to the numbers. 

Yesterday, my watch died about halfway through the run. This jarred me. I didn’t know how fast I was going or how far. I had to go by feel. And the dead watch forced me to consider: what is the point of this? Beyond the interim goals and detailed little metrics and cartoon badges - why am I out here? 

So many teams and organizations right now are reckoning with a dead watch. Some external source of status and support is gone. You’ve lost funding, people, political power. The specific signatures of achievement you wanted to see won’t show up.

The best organizations I’ve seen use dead watch moments, terrible and unjust as they are, to sharpen their understanding of their missions. They become more themselves, in spite of the unfair challenge, and make the world a better place as a result.

In 2014 and 2015, young migrants fled violence in their home countries in Central America and came to New Orleans in record numbers. Many of them were learning English for the first time when they got here. Ben and the principals of his schools decided to seek out these kids and make their schools the best at meeting their needs. This was obviously going to hurt test scores and stress still-forming cultures at some new schools. And. The whole point of opening and leading these schools in the first place was to serve all students – no matter what their needs were. Collegiate Academies became a deeper version of itself and a mini-generation of kids got to do the last of their growing up in a place that was safe and loving. 

-eric

Read the rest here.

COMPELLING QUOTES

CEO and poker champion Cate Hall on crossing the cringe minefield:

To cross the cringe minefield, you need to have humility about the fact that your perception is distorted, right now. You simply cannot see the landscape of options in your life objectively. By default, you will ignore a path to your dreams if a personally perilous emotion—worthlessness, loneliness, imperfection—is along the way. If you don’t take this into account, you’re doomed to low-grade, long-term self-sabotage that will feel like simply leaning into your strengths. The default is to choose the misery you’re comfortable with over the agonizing thrill of real change.

All-around badass Noorain Khan on finding your next gig:

When contemplating leaving my law firm over a decade ago, a close friend asked, "Does anyone know you're looking?" I hesitated before replying, "Yes, I've mentioned it to some people and reached out to a few contacts..." trailing off uncertainly. Her response became career advice I've treasured ever since: "No one can help you look if they don't know you're looking—you need to tell everyone you're comfortable sharing with."

Writer Horace Walpole, in 1777, on Britain’s war with its North American colonies:

Children break their playthings to see the inside of them … We have been like babies smashing an empire to see what is was made of.

Keep going, keep growing,

Ben & Eric