run your 1:1s more like tutoring than office hours

Leaders and direct reports tend to think of meetings as this uniquely important time where they get talk to people directly that they don’t talk to often.  Because of the scarcity of this time, both sides are generally invested in that conversation. What I see most people doing by default with this time is sharing information. 

Sharing info is something that we distinctly feel uncomfortable without that this meeting can achieve. And leaders get a ton of instinctive positive feedback from sharing information: somebody has a bunch of questions, we're giving them answers, they're nodding their head. They're saying “that's great,” they're writing things down. It seems very, very useful. 

I think your direct reports should feel that they’re getting information that they didn't have, that they know they need and that they’re grateful for. If that happens in a meeting with you, they will think that is a good meeting. 

But what separates a truly great 1:1 meeting with a leader from just a fine one, is that it's developmental, not just informational. The developmental meeting improves capacity far beyond the time you spend in this meeting and will be a multiplier on that person's performance. 

The way I like to capture this difference is high school tutoring vs college office hours. If the model is office hours like a college professor’s, where you sit there in your tweed jacket and hear somebody ask questions that interest them, the reality is that you end up having fascinating conversations and not necessarily improving anybody's capacity. 

Instead of professor office hours, you want to actually think of your 1:1s more like high school tutoring sessions. In the tutoring version, somebody comes to you and says, “I can't do this math problem.” And you don't just think, “Let me help them figure out this one math problem.” You think, “oh, how can I make sure they do problems like this on their own from now on without me?”

There are all sorts of ways you can structure the 1:1 conversation to deliver development rather than just information. Managers who use scorecards with their people have a great starting point. Whatever structure you choose, it’s important to hold a standard for yourself that says: my meetings teach people to fish. They don't just give people fish. 

-Ben